I'm in trouble now. More trouble than I thought I was in before, it appears. You see, I have a weight problem, one that's been dragging at me for most of my life.

Now, many people don't see my problem as an issue at all. But trust me, all the inconveniences of my weight are very real. I can't find clothes that fit properly, and when they do fit, they really don't look very good. I don't feel good about myself. I wish I looked different. I bet you other people wished I looked different too. Hey, I've seen the glances. I've overheard whispers, I've been told flat out that I'm ugly and that I need do something about my weight.  Even my mother asked me if I had some sort of medical issue going on. 

I'm 5' 10", and I weight 118 pounds. On a good day. Fully clothed, and usually that number rings up after a really, really big meal.  Now for anyone who has struggled with keeping the pounds off, trust me that it's no party to try and keep the pounds *on*. I eat more than well, exercise minimally (to stay fit - not to burn calories), and I step on the scales every day. I'm not anorexic, and I don't make myself purge. 

I don't know why I'm so skinny. Stress? Could be. I'm pretty strung out and a friend of mine calls me the Energizer Bunny.  I've tried to eat lots of fat foods to put on weight, and I've tried to eat small meals every hour to help my body. I tried weight gainer products for body builders once.  Gross. I even asked my doctor. No luck.

But I've discovered that what I thought was a serious weight problem is now an even bigger one. Discovery.com told me today that being thin doesn't mean you aren't fat. For all I know, my skin and bones (literally) might hide a heart surrounded by a layer of fat or my vital organs might even be stuffed full of the stuff.  Recent research has blown the world of being thin and being obese apart with the new release of information about internal fat - it isn't just for the overweight, anymore.

On top of that, I can't even be sure that my body is hiding secrets of fat - I can't see it. There's no proof. Maybe I'm full of fat, but maybe I'm just as skinny inside as out.

The good news is that while I may be as much in a category of risk for poor health as a friend of mine who tends to carry more weight than she'd like, it appears that I can fight back against internal fat - if, indeed, I'm truly overweight inside. Since I eat a healthy, nutritious diet and exercise, I can burn off that fat inside my clothes-rack frame.  I can also burn off every hope I had of reaching 120 pounds, this year's current health goal.  Joy.

Posted by Louise.

Louise writes for Creative And Unique Gift Ideas.